Slow Boat to Luang Prabang including a Night in Pak Beng

A popular rite of passage for travelers in Laos is taking a two-day slow boat trip down the Mekong River between Huay Xai, a border town with Thailand, to Luang Prabang. Since the trip takes so long it is broken up into two days, which includes an obligatory night in Pak Beng, a town halfway between the 2 places that I think has been entirely set up to accommodate slow boat riders. As usual, we were given very few details about the trip, the boat, the length of the journey, etc. Everything here is on a very need to know basis.

The ride was quite relaxing and the scenery throughout the trip was beautiful. However, the seating arrangements are quite trying as we were given a plastic chair the first day (which everyone discarded and just sat on the hard floor....the lesser of two evils) and a hard wooden bench the second day. No matter how many cushions you you get talked into buying to sit on for the trip, your ass is going to kill you. Nevertheless, it was definitely worth the trip and the boat is a pretty social scene. This is where we met the first Americans we have met on the entire trip. We even met a guy in Pak Beng that lives in Snowmass, CO and went to Boston College, once again confirming what a small world it is. Another person we met in Pak Beng referred to himself as "Mr. Money" and introduced himself by asking if you wanted to buy opium. I guess this is a part of life in the Golden Triangle.

Oh, and an addendum to the "beautiful scenery" line above: on the second day we saw a dead man floating in the river.  We passed it about 10 feet away from the boat.  It was super bloated.  Quite eerie.  And although Kate has seen a dead body or two in her social work days, this was the first dead body I've seen not in a coffin.  Good ole' Mekong river - probably a while before the catfish finish that one off...

Below are some pictures from the 2-day trip:

This was a fellow slow boat on the river.   Everyone hanging on the boat - hard to stay comfortable:

Kids trying to sell us all sorts of snacks and beer and shit.

Good opportunity to make some headway in "War and Peace."

Sun going down on the Mekong.

Our view from our one night layover in Pakbeng.

And sunset as we finally arrived in Luang Prabang:

The Gibbon Experience..from two perspectives

The Gibbon Experience: The Things You Do for Love
By Kate Rubert

The moment I first read about the Gibbon Experience in our guide book several months ago I instantly knew Duncan was going to make me do this 3 day, 2 night trek in the rain forest. Now that it is over, all I have to say is that he owes me....big time. Here's why:
- We were assigned to the oldster, couples group. 2 of the 4 couples were on their honeymoons and one night we had to endure one of these couples having sex. (Everyone was sleeping in one big room in the treehouse). I was actually scared that the treehouse was going to fall down due to the shaking. To make matters worse, there was another group of 7 young internationals that left on the same day but since only 8 could be in the group we had to stay in the group we were assigned.
- Fear of leeches for 3 straight days. Many people refer to this jokingly as "The Leech Experience", as you spend a majority of the trip flicking leeches off your shoes and skin. I was determined not to get a single leech bite and thus had to wear the dorkiest outfit I have ever worn for three days - including high socks over pants. I am still undecided on whether I will release these pictures for public viewing.
- No toilet for 3 days. Only holes...in the ground or out the treehouse, many of which were filled with bees. Oh, there was also no toilet paper and my personal supply for the trip was dwindling.
- Sleeping with spiders the size of Duncan's hand in the treehouse.
- Hours of hiking everyday through muddy jungle trails.
- Ridiculous amounts of mosquitos that no amount of bug spray could prevent.
- Sore ab muscles from ziplining in order to keep up my speed over the 1/4 mile lines.
- Eating rice and vegetables for 3 meals per day.

Despite these issues, it was a once in a lifetime experience, which I'm sure Duncan will go into full detail about below.

The Gibbon Experience: Fucking Awesome!
by Duncan Delano

Picture zip lines crossing deep jungle valleys, piercing through the canopy foliage, up to 300 feet off the ground and up to a quarter mile in length.  Then, picture arriving at your treehouse for the evening--you zip in from some hillside in the rainforest, unable to see 30 feet in front of you as the cable disappears into the bush.  But you clip in and zip away, busting out the trees, and see your treehouse standing at the top of a giant tree.  Fricken Swiss Family Robinson stuff.  And once at your treehouse, the guides let you loose to zip around the jungle at your leisure with no supervision (there are about 30 cables set up).  This goes on for 3 days (which is great, but I'd rather like 8).  I have dreamed of such a place all my life, and finally I found it.  And then the icing on the cake: there is a waterfall near one of the treehouses with a gorgeous swimming hole where you can dunk in and let the whole experience soak in.  Fucking awesome! 

And what's more, it was kinda cool getting bit by leeches.


Our treehouse:

Not a bad place to wake up:

The authors ziplining.  Kate ziplines in argyle sox, very stylish (also protective from leeches). 

Kate searching for animals at dawn, without success. 

A misty dawn from our lofty perch:

Dropping from the treehouse at 6:30 in the morning is quite a rush; no need for coffee:

Some say it should be called "The Leech Experience."  This was my first of four leeches:

Kate hiking through the rainforest:
[Sorry, got too slow to upload pics. Eds].

Introduction to Laos and the Border Town of Huay Xai

We were anxiously anticipating our first land border crossing in SE Asia due to countless stories of scams, exhortions, ridiculously long waits one hears from fellow travelers and guide books. Also, Duncan and I do not have the best luck when it comes to borders - border officials see our backpacks and assume we are drug smugglers or something. Anyway, after our overnight bus dropped us off in Chiang Khong in Thailand, we took a 3-minute boat ride across the Mekong River to Huay Xai, Laos. It was here that we were introduced to the laid-back Laos way. The visa on arrival application process was surprisingly efficient and painless. We were not asked a single question from border officials, our bags were not checked, and we were even given a pamphlet of commonly used Laos phrases. I think we're going to like this country.

The town of Huay Xai is essentially a one street town. Travelers only come here for two reasons: 1) to immediately catch the slow boat to Luang Prabang after crossing the border or 2) to do the Gibbon Experience. We were here to do the latter and thus had to stay here for two nights. It was here that we had our first taste of Beer Lao as we watched the sunset over the Mekong River:

We also had one of our best meals of the trip here after walking up top a table on the side of the road and signaling for 2 of whatever they were serving (something Duncan had been wanting to do all trip). It was basically noodles with meat and veggies in a super spicy broth - as they say in SE Asia "same, same" as things we had eaten before "but different".

The most entertaining thing in Huay Xai was the matron of our guesthouse, Mrs. Changpeng. She was the ultimate saleswoman, which led some of our French friends we met on the trip to refer to her as "a shark". She was so cute and walked super slow, but good luck walking into her guesthouse/ restaurant and not handing over money for a room, food, or a tour.

Back to Back Sleeper Buses in Thailand

Anyone traveling in 3d world countries will inevitably take an overnight bus ride, lasting somewhere between 9 and 16 hours, at some point in their journey (if not several).  Leaving Phi Phi Island in southern Thailand and heading for the Laos border crossing in northern Thailand, we prepared for back-to-back sleeper buses, with an 8-hour layover in Bangkok in between.  Of course, these would not be the best two nights of the trip.

The first bus ride wasn't so bad, probably because the buses in the south are more frequented and thus nicer than those in the north, and because we had our last reserves of ambien to help us out.  But even a good sleeper bus is still a sleeper bus...

First, you're never quite sure which bus to get on at the chaotic station, where it's crowded, dirty, and dark.  After eventually sorting out which bus is yours and getting settled, you head out of town slowly through traffic, but happy to be on the road and bumping your ipod while watching the night scene outside.  Then they throw on the dvd.  You're hoping it might be something in English and maybe even something worth watching.  Hahaha, you were silly to hope that. It's "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," with Nick Cage--you're not even sure it's that or if its rather that one about young superheroes--dubbed into Thai.  You strike out there so you keep your ipod on.  Time to eat your sleeping pill and get as comfortable as can be accomplished: not very. 

Then out of your induced sleep haze you realize you're stopped and all the Thais are getting off the bus.  Checking the time, it's 2:30 a.m.  You've stopped at a huge snack depot.  You certainly don't feel like making a transaction for some shitty snack, but hey, the bathroom here has to be better than the tiny one on the bus, so you stumble off with eyes half closed and do your business. 

In the morning you're woken up as the first stop is made, where one or two people get off, and the bus keeps going.  It's too early for your destination--you think--so you don't ask any questions but become more observant.  But as more and more people get off at random roads or shops, you hope it will somehow become clear when it's your turn. 

Our day in Bangkok is taken up with some shopping and then meeting up with some British friends (met in Vietnam) for some day drinking.  We figure since we're out of ambien this might help us fall asleep early that night on our bus up north. 

We load on and again hope for an American movie in English.  We get really hopeful when the previews are in English and of movies we actually want to see.  Again our hopes are dashed, as a very low budget Thai movie is put on with the sound blaring.  Turn up the ipod and yes, the four large Chang beers a piece help us fall quickly asleep, even with the likes of ACDC serenading us.

But then we're woken up by a bus employee at 1:00 a.m. and asked to show our tickets.  That makes sense.  I mean, we could've snuck on with our huge backpacks somewhere outside Bangkok and not paid for tickets.  Whatever.  But he does give us some orange flavored milk and a package of one slice of bread lathered in sugary butter (the bread actually wasn't so bad).  Now the beer sleep has worn off, and this bus has less leg room than the last, and my ass is killing me from sitting for so long in the last 36 hours, so the rest of the night is off-and-on napping with vivid, weird dreams, as the traditional Thai music blasts from crappy speakers and the AC vents drip water on us slowly. 

Some rest in the near future is definitely needed.

I Heart Bangkok

Not really.  It's huge, it's skeevy, it's crowded, it's hot.  And then there's the people trying to scam you in any variety of ways.  We were kinda over Bangkok from the second we arrived.  Oh, and you do see quite a few old dude-young thai girl arrangements. 

But it's kinda worth seeing as well, because it's definitely a scene unlike any other we've seen.  The night on Khao San Road, the traveler/ex-pat zone, is ca-razy!  It was a little more than we could handle, but luckily our hotel had a TV channel that showed nothing but pirated American movies - we got lucky with an Angelina thriller, "Salt." 

Two great things about Bangkok are the cheap, delicious food and the shopping.  The street stalls like the one below are the way to go for amazing Tom yam soup and tasty curries.  As soon as you step foot in a restaurant the price goes way up and the quality even goes down a bit. 

This is Khao San Road where you can buy sweet T-shirts, clothes, shoes, sunnies (as our English friends call sunglasses), rip-off designer bags, the whole shebang.  You can probably buy ladyboys there too, but we didn't check into that. 

 

Here are some English blokes/mates (don't they have cooler words than us!) we met in Vietnam and reunited with in Bangkok for a few large Chang beers before our sleeper bus up north to the Laos border. 

One final note, we were about to buy an I Heart Bangkok tank top for our dear friend, Mike Spahr, but then we decided he'd never wear it, and that's an expensive joke on a budget. 

Phi Phi Island - Stop, Hammock Time!

After taking an overnight bus from Bangkok to Phuket (more on sleeper buses in SE Asia on a later post), we hopped a ferry to the beautiful Phi Phi Island (pronounced "pee pee"...hehe) in Southern Thailand. This was a much needed 5-day break from being on the move for the past 3 weeks - no cars, white sand beaches, and crystal blue water. We stayed in an awesome bungalow overlooking the bay outfitted with a hammock on the deck (see above). When we weren't on the beach or in the water, we were in this hammock, relaxing away the lazy days. 

Here's Duncan floating in the Andaman Sea, with Phi Phi Ley, another island, in the background (more on this later):

On our last day there, we decided to go on a snorkeling trip to Phi Phi Ley. Since we are on a strict budget of $75 per day between the 2 of us, we booked the cheapest tour which of course turned out to be the most bush-league tour. Our "guide" (but really just longboat driver) only spoke one word at each stop: "swim"; "snorkel"; "monkey"; "maya bay". Even though it was bush league, we got in some good snorkeling (albeit with terrible, dirty gear--Duncan's leaky mask caused him to lose a contact) and saw the main attraction of the area - Maya Bay. For those of you who don't know, this is famous for being the location where "The Beach" was shot - one of Leo's more dubious films. Instead of actually taking us to the bay, our "guide" dropped us off in a different bay and pointed 50 yards to a ladder which scaled a rock cliff out of the water and told us "walk 3 minute." Since we had to swim there, we could not bring our camera to document this beautiful place. But, we took a picture of a postcard:

But, it was probably better off we didn't get a picture of the real thing because it would have been spoiled by the thousands of tourists and boats (but not our boat) that get shuffled through there everyday. I guess we'll have to watch that movie now. 

One more thing about Phi Phi - this is a big place for honeymooners and apparently many foreigners like to take seductive pictures of their new wives in the shallow waters and on the bows of boats. And they don't seem to care that there are other people are around - I was embarrassed for them because swimsuit models they were not.

Pics:

Here are some gratuitous, artsy pictures to make you jealous:

Every night, the hippies of Phi Phi put on fire shows at the bars on the beach:

This is what happens when Duncan has too much time on his hands and finds a frog in the bathroom:

Hanoi - Madness

Our last stop in Vietnam was Hanoi, the capital city. We spent a total of 3 days in Hanoi, both before and after our Halong Bay & Sapa excursions. The first time we arrived in Hanoi we arrived in the midst of the 1000 year anniversary of the founding of Hanoi, a celebration we had been hearing about throughout our time in the rest of Vietnam. Everyone warned us how crowded it would be but we kind of didn't take it too seriously, until we got there. It took our cab from the airport about double the time to get through the city because there were people EVERYWHERE. It's hard to describe and the pictures we took (not included) do not do the craziness justice (that's why they are not included). The funny thing was that this "celebration" was not much of a celebration at all - no events, no music, no food - just tons of people on the streets wearing "I Love Hanoi" shirts and waving Vietnamese flags around. Kind of lame for the biggest event in 1000 years. When we returned to Hanoi after Sapa, it was definitely less crowded but still crazy.

Try to find Kate in the madness...

We were a bit tired and overwhelmed so didn't try to see too much of Hanoi (missed the grand Temple of Literature and Ho Chi Minh's tomb - but frankly, you see one grand tomb or temple, of which we've seen a few, you seen 'em all).  Instead we walked around the lake in the center of the city and sat down to drink some beer, or "bia."  Which reminds me how cool their word for beer is - it's like someone from New York or Jersey saying "beer" but dragging out into two syllables.  Gimme a cold bia!
 
This is where we sat down in the Old Quarter for some Bia Hoi, a beer that each place brews locally without preservatives.  At the awesome price of 20 cents per glass (almost pint sized!), you really can't beat it.

You sit on these little plastic children's chairs or stools.  This was the Bia Hoi place kitty corner from ours. 

Then we bid Kate's Mom farewell, as she headed back to the US of A, by way of a 9-hour layover in Tokyo (eek!)  And Kate and I headed down to Bangkok, the city where you can do it all or have it all done to you...